she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
