Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize