Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A+ Viking dick
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.