i just had sex bonerless
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just blew my weed a kiss
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.