Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...