Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own

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  (810): If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore? (989): I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own http://tfl.nu/vduq
  Replies (24) Good night (2620) Bad night (718)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7792) Bad night (873)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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  (703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x
  Replies (12) Good night (641) Bad night (3885)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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  (919): Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval http://tfl.nu/opwb
  Replies (7) Good night (7138) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3928) Bad night (1035)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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  (602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy
  Replies (3) Good night (2126) Bad night (834)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

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  (218): Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday? http://tfl.nu/s08h
  Replies (5) Good night (2138) Bad night (930)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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  (573): This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car http://tfl.nu/p8ht
  Replies (10) Good night (1491) Bad night (2276)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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  (910): I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand. http://tfl.nu/jlfn
  Replies (23) Good night (871) Bad night (3208)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.

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  (716): I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like. http://tfl.nu/y2at
  Replies (7) Good night (1280) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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  (651): Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen. http://tfl.nu/o1qk
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (573) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't turn off my feet"

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  (419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.

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  (361): I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles. http://tfl.nu/6fue
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (215)

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