I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt