Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK

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(919): View more from North Carolina

please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.

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(949): View more from California

Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.

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(928): View more from Arizona

She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?

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(+61): View more from Australia

Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT

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