So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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