i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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