very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
