just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
