ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
