I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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