I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
