Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
farters have to be the big spoon...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
two words...techno handjob
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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