You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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