So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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