you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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