We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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