you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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