I wish my penis had an off switch
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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