It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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