I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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