from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize