So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
