Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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