You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
