Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
