if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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