So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
