ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
