STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
