rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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