Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
