Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
