Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well