There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial