I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
