Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.