one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
