win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My bed smells like the plague
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
