I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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