So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
