If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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