Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize