hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
