North Korea, Best Korea!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
