She is in my trunk
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
