I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
