A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
