You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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