yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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