what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im holly from the hills drunk
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
