chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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