I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
