Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
