So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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