He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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