Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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