I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
