i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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