so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
