is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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