This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
