It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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