we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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