I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
