Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
