Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
