Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
