I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
